Part 4: Parents

The age-old stereotype of the lazy, parent-hating teenager now appears to be one best left in feel-good movies from the 1980s, as the obstacle course of high school academia has become one that both students and parents have to navigate.

Top schools’ steadily slimming admission rates and an increasingly challenging high school course load have resulted in hyper-awareness of SAT scores and AP classes, and schedules so tightly packed that students’ lives outside of school can be heavily impacted.

The stress of school isn’t the only factor that affects a student’s life. The level of parent involvement in a student’s life can have a large influence on the way kids approach their schooling.

However, parents can also feel pressure to have their children excel academically.  ‘

“There is a lot of confusion [amongst parents] about what academic success looks like,” said the school’s social worker, Stephanie Schuette. “We have parents who do that catastrophic thinking.”

This “catastrophic thinking” Schuette speaks of is a problem she believes many students face. It is the idea that if one thing in someone’s life goes awry, a massive catastrophe will arise.

Akin to a domino effect, catastrophic thinking could lead a student or parent to believe that one failed test can lead to college rejection and jeopardize his or her entire future.  

It seems to be a mindset to which neither parents nor students are immune.

“If you have this catastrophic thinking in your ears all the time, you’ll start to believe it,” Schuette said.

The phrase “helicopter parent” has been used to describe those who succumb to it. Schuette said these type of parents are characterized by certain behaviors, such as checking Home Access more than once a week or immediately contacting teachers before attempting to communicate with their children.  

Pam Kipniss, a parent representative on the School Governance Council, said she sees the effect that this type of parenting can have on children.

“I think students feel academic pressure from parents who are helicopter parents or too involved in their student’s academic success,” Kipniss said in an email.

Kipniss said that although parent involvement is undoubtedly important, the delicate balance between involvement and helicopter parenting can be difficult to strike.

“I feel it is important for a parent to keep in touch with the student’s academic life so the student can feel that his or her parent does care,” Kipniss said. “But I think a drawback is a parent who is a helicopter parent and does everything for the student while always asking the student about their academic life.”

Continuous pressure on the part of a parent can also harm the student’s future prospects, Kipniss said.

“Students will not be as successful in their future because parents held their student’s hand and took charge of their student’s academic life,” she said.

Schuette said the goal of academic success is a common one for many, but it can negatively impact all parties involved when a student’s sense of self-worth becomes dependent upon that success. “You can be heavily involved, but if the parent places their child’s worth on their success, that’s not healthy,” said Schuette.